I Don’t Know Where My Addicted Loved One Is; How Can I Help?

I Don't Know Where My Addicted Loved One Is; How Can I Help?You are frantic because you do not know where your addicted loved one is. You are feeling helpless and afraid that you may lose your loved one forever. This is a terrifying experience for you, and you do not know what to do. Though it may not be what you would expect, the most important thing you can do right now is take care of yourself. Below are some things you may want to consider doing:

  • Face reality – It is important for you to realize that your loved one is an addict and that he or she will not get better without help. While you lived with your loved one, you may have had a false perception that you had great influence over his or her thoughts, emotions and behaviors. When your loved one became an addict, you realized this was not true, and it was difficult to accept. You wanted to believe that if you had loved him or her enough or if you had behaved differently, your loved one may not have become an addict. You know better now, though it is hard to deal with at times.
  • Set Boundaries – You may think the idea of setting boundaries is unnecessary because you do not know where your loved one is right now. However, it is important to think ahead and be prepared. While you are waiting to hear from your loved one, practice setting boundaries. It is important to consider the amount of time you are investing looking for your loved one and how much time you are spending away from other important things such as your job or your other family members.
  • Stay healthy – You need to keep a good balance with other aspects of life such as work or volunteering, supportive friendships, fitness and good nutrition and time for activities that you enjoy.
  • Acknowledge that you do not have control – The only person you have control over is yourself. When it comes to your loved one, you want to believe that you have some level of control, but unfortunately, you do not. While it is emotionally difficult to grasp, once you accept this truth, you will be able to focus your efforts on taking care of yourself.
  • Look within – After you face reality, set boundaries, stay healthy and acknowledge your sphere of control, you still need to look within yourself to determine if you are holding on to unhealthy thoughts that might interfere with you taking care of yourself. It is important for you to understand why you choose to behave in unhealthy ways and for you to have the courage to seek the help you need.
  • Care for yourself – This means that you respect yourself enough to take good care of yourself in healthy and holistic ways such as making sure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs are met. You also need to look at your life in a more evaluative manner to determine what things about your life need your attention such as your career, relationships, or self-care issues.

These tips may be difficult to incorporate into your life. Therefore, it is best to get support as soon as possible.

Get Help for Self-Care

The sooner you seek help, the better. Call our toll-free helpline any time of the day to discuss how you can help yourself.